How To Define A Slytherin
by Rainstorm Amaya Arianrhod
Summary: For years, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws have wanted to get inside a Slytherin's head in the case of some, in order to do irreparable damage. But what makes a Slytherin tick?


A/N: Here we go. A companion piece to A Question Of Identity, this time focussing on Slytherin (because I felt like it). Usual drill with flames, use on barbecue.

Disclaimer- I am not J.K. Rowling. Never will be. So there.

Hey.

What a simple greeting. Full of potential, but- simple. And how many things that are simple do you see around? Very few.

Not even the straightforwardly evil has the decency to stay that way.

"What?" I can almost hear you saying, choking on your cup of tea (and probably spilling it) as you scan this document. "Surely evil is evil, as sure as Gryffindor hates Slytherin?"

Well, no. Not everything is black and white. In fact, for most of my fourteen years I have lived quite uncomfortably in the shades of grey.

It appears that I have neglected something important- the introduction, and the description. My name is Naira, Naira Grimoire. I have a brother called Maurus, a married sister called Ophelia, a brother-in-law named Theo Agan, a niece named Iphigenia and a nephew named Tai. My parents' names are Dulciana and Arcadius. I have straight black hair, skin that neither burns nor tans but remains wax-white, and pale grey eyes. Not only do I live in shades of grey, I am shades of grey.

What a comforting thought.

You see (and do not drop this in horror) I am a Slytherin. A Slytherin, get that through your head, if you will. Cool your desire to burn me off the face of the earth though, I have not quite finished yet.

Yes, I am ambitious and cunning. When I was younger, my ambition was to please my relentlessly pureblood family, and if cunning means that you know every quiet hidey-hole known to Hogwarts- I'm your girl. But evil? A sympathiser towards Voldemort? I do beg your pardon, you have mistaken the case.

So, how do I prove that I do not follow Salazar Slytherin's doctrine as if it were the very breath of life?

Well, I don't cheat. I nearly had my jaw broken because my views opposed that of a group of Slytherins attempting to incapacitate Demelza Robbins- ask her, if you don't believe me. They were trying to stop her playing Chaser in a vital Quidditch match.

Secondly, I am terrible at Potions. This is incredibly embarrassing, because everyone else in Slytherin is brilliant at it and my parents expected me to be just as good at it as everyone else.

Thirdly, most Slytherins, and indeed most students at Hogwarts, do not live in fear of retribution for- oh, bad marks, inapropriate attitude, behaving like, dressing like, a Gryffindor – in the form of having their wand snapped. No. I am not joking. Nor am I lying- I don't make a habit of deceit. My parents do snap wands, it's a hazard of living with them and it's why I try to steer clear of them. There is, however, a certain amount of difficulty relative to this, because they are my parents. They are.

Anyway, on to Slytherins. The purpose of what you are reading is to... explain? Apologize for? Describe?... Slytherins.

Yes, I know. The prevailing attitude, particularly among Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, is that Slytherin means evil.

Nothing mentions Slytherins who went on to become famous healers.

Nothing mentions Slytherins who hear and keep secrets.

Nothing mentions conscientious objectors, who were, undeniably, Slytherin.

On the other hand, you can't say that there aren't Slytherins who cheat, lie and bully. Please remember, I was part of this house. I am aware of its many failings.

Let us take Draco Malfoy as an example. Oh, I can see steam coming out of your ears: restrain yourself. Firstly, he is Narcissa Malfoy's only son; she can't have any more children, so he's been spoilt. Secondly, he has been brought up to despise Gryffindors and Albus Dumbledore, as well as Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. He was brought up to believe that Slytherin is the all-superior superpower. He is also pretty powerful, by Slytherin terms. He has money, and those goons, Crabbe and Goyle, who are so dim that I'm pretty sure they think that whatever Malfoy says is the Truth, the Way and the Light. Not in Muggle categories, though: according to certain Muggleborns' take on Muggle politics, I might well be incarcerated for Inciting Religious Hatred. I ask you! Shouldn't humankind be beyond that by now? I only mean to show the level of worship with which the gormless pair view Malfoy.

Back to Slytherin.

There is no denying that most members of this house are crushingly self-preservative. As Phineas Nigellus, one of the few Slytherin Headmasters of Hogwarts once said, 'We Slytherins are brave, yes, but not stupid'. They lack the mountain-shifting courage and chivalry of Gryffindors, and the lasting loyalty of Hufflepuffs. Ah well; we can't all be heroes.

Sometimes, however, this 'prudent bravery', if you will, degenerates into what I can only call cowardice. Cowardice, pure and simple.

Again let us borrow Master Malfoy for the purposes of explanation. He comes up with dreadful deeds, and executes them well, but when it comes to the crunch- pretending to be a Dementor to scare Harry Potter, for example, but attempting to flee when the victim proved to be armed and ready. He made a right mess of his departure, as well. I could give you other instances; on the night Dumbledore died, in that titanic battle, where were most Slytherins? Cowering under their four-poster beds. Could they not have showed a little more steel? Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, even myself, poor at Defence Against the Dark Arts as I am, members from each house came out to fight. But there was a noticeable lack of people from Slytherins- I was the only one anyone saw, and then I avoided Harry Potter and Ron Weasley for fear of a well-placed if mistaken jinx.

Slytherins' ambition is perhaps the most powerful emotion a Slytherin ever feels. A Slytherin may do anything to knock out the competition- not that I intend to say that they may do so and suffer no retribution, but they can and probably will do anything. A Slytherin does not feel guilty if they are given a leg up. They do not, generally speaking, have a problem with their conscience.

Nor do they seem to care about anyone's opinion. Detentions, criticism and downright chastisememt do not seem to bother them. The only reactions, in fact, that seem to touch them are ridicule, scorn and admiration. The latter causes them to acquire a smug expression and superior mannerisms, much like a snake basking in the warmth of the sun. The other two, ridicule and scorn, tend to be met with fists and hexes; at least in my experience. In other cases it simply causes them to plot revenge

These characteristics taken, I have often thought a Slytherin's place is locked up. However, with a Slytherin, the cunning would likely assert itself and the Slytherin would escape.

Please do not take this as gospel truth. It is generalization, and severely opinionated. Please remember that I have not been treated kindly by the members of my own house. Please remember that for every person that reads this essay, the wider I lay myself open to retribution; and do not tell a soul.


End file.
